Post by Kefka on Jul 7, 2012 20:22:28 GMT -6
U-uh, Excuse me, kupo? What's your name, kupo?
WHOAAAAAAA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Kefka floated down to the Moogle and flailed his fingers at the poor thing. "My my my, I can't BEAR to see such an insignificant flea-bitten creature ask for a name as glorious as KEFKA PALAZZO, but I suppose I shall give it to you so you have the honor of quaking in fear of your impending destruction!"
Is that what everyone calls you, kupo?
Kefka cackled again. My dear pom-pom wearing friend, I go by MANY titles, but I am referred to as the God of Magic!
That's a great name for a girl, kupo! You... are a girl, aren't you, kupo?
"...GHSLDFGJIERTJG I'M A MAN! I'm more manly than some of my Chaotic Comrades!
O-of course! I was just... messing around, kupo! Ahem. Anyway, kupo. Uh. How old are you, kupo?
"Bah! You tell terrible jokes, anyways! Where's the screaming? The musical misery? The torturous wails of those who've lost loved ones?! Besides, you never inquire someone of their age! That's just rude! However, if you must know, I am about 40!"
Really? Everyone lately seems to be strange, kupo... so... no offense...but what species are you, kupo?
"Wha-WHAT?! Are you stupid or have you been hit with the Blind spell?! I'm a GOD! But I suppose you can refer to me as a human for the time being."
I knew that... It's just this light in here, kupo... my eyes can't focus... what do you look like, kupo?
"You really are blind! I'M STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! But if you MUST want a description of my perfection than I shall provide, Mr. Blindy McKupo!"
"JUST LOOK AT THAT HANDSOME DEVIL! The lovingly colorful outfit! That cheerful smile that is always on my face! That insane gleam in my eye? IT IS PERFECTION INCARNATE!"
"Nonononononono, I take that back! THIS is Perfection Incarnate! Look at my god form, lording it over EVERYONE with my beautiful DESTRUCTIVE POWER! Is it not glorious, my furred friend?!"
I-interesting...Which world is your home, kupo?
"I hail from the World of Ruin, my suspiciously curious teddy bear! It used to be called the World of Balance, where people that weren't oppressed by the Empire were happy, there was green grass and blue waters, the birds sang sweet songs and all sorts of other nasty, disgusting, irritating, ANNOYING things! Blech! Luckily, I made it better by undoing the seal that kept the Goddesses of Magic in check and DESTROYED EVERYTHING, turning the world into a blasted wasteland! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! And people must have liked it, there was even a cult dedicated to yours truly!"
I see... That's an interesting looking weapon, kupo. What do you call it, kupo?
Whajepha, WHAT WEAPON?! What is wrong with you? Have you had one too many Kupo nuts this morning? Were you dropped on your head as a cub?! BAH! I don't fight with any stupid weapons! I don't need them when I have the incredible power of MAGIC ON MY SIDE!"
Cool! Do you know any attacks, kupo?
"Of course I do! What kind of all-powerful godly machine of ultimate destruction do you take me for?!"
Extra-Crispy Firaga - Kefka casts three fireballs which zig zag through the air at his opponents. In EX Mode, each fireball splits into three more fireballs. (Cooldown: Two posts.)
Scatter Spray Blizzaga - A block of ice is fired, stops before reaching Kefka's opponents and then shatters over a wide area. (Cooldown: 2 posts)
Zap Trap Thundaga - Kefka summons lightning to strike around an opponent to keep him/her from dodging before casting lightning right on his opponent. (Cooldown: 2 posts)
Meteor: Kefka summons five fiery meteors from the sky that rain down around the mad mage and bounce towards his opponents when they land. In EX mode, the meteors fall and stop, hovering above the battleground, before homing in on Kefka's opponents. (Cooldown: 2 posts)
Havoc Wing: Kefka floats in close to his opponent, flips over and sprouts six wings from his back to stab his opponent. (Cooldown: 3 posts)
Trine: Kefka creates three triangles made of blue energy to converge on an opponent. Not only do these triangles deal damage, but they also inflict Silence or Blind, depending on the last move made by the opponent. (Physical move for Blind, Magic for Silence) (Cooldown: 4 posts from when the spell was cast. Negative Status effect duration: 2 posts)
Forsaken: Kefka creates a magical circle which tracks his opponents, dropping orbs of magical energy onto them. In EX Mode, the orbs also track Kefka's opponents. (Cooldown: 4 posts.)
Ex Mode: Power of Destruction - Kefka changes into his God of Magic form. Not only are his attacks more powerful, but some of his attacks change to reflect this change in form (So noted under their attacks). Thanks to his new wings, he can also Glide in this form. However, the main thing about this particular form is that he has access to his ultimate attack, Light of Judgment. (Duration: 4 posts) (Cooldown: 6 posts)
Light of Judgment - Only accessed through his EX Form, this is easily Kefka's strongest attack. The Mad Mage floats above his opponents and conjures a field of energy, then sends a massive beam of Light to smite his opponents. This beam is quite massive and deals an extreme amount of damage. However, when Kefka uses this attack, no matter how long he's been in EX Form, he immediately goes out of it. Thus, the cooldown for this attack is the same as EX Form. (Cooldown: 6 posts.)
That's not bad, kupo..! Can you tell me anything about your past, kupo?
"WAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you wish to know my history! What gives, anyway? Is this a survey, moogle, or are you going to share this with my enemies? Bah! Not that'll do any good, since I'm going to DESTROY EVERYTHING! Well, it all started when my decrepit old fart of an Emperor, Gestahl, decided he wanted to make soldiers who could use magic. Of course, I jumped at the chance of that in a heartbeat and was whisked away to their lovely experimentation labs! Oh, they truly were lovely, with the pain and the agony and the TORTUOUS PAIN!"
"Then something came to me during those lovely experiments! Everything was worthless since it was all going to end! Life, happiness, music, taxes, the price of tea in Tzen, all was going to end and was all pointless, so why should any of it exist?! And what's more, I had the power to do it! Oh, it was such a lovely revelation that I positively reveled in it. They called me mad, but true madness is rebuilding what's only going to end in the first place! But I couldn't just go about destroying everything, not with that stupid Emperor shadowing me. So I had to play the nice doggy and help him conquer the world. It started out so lovely, too! I even got to play with a lovely little girl named Terra who I enslaved into being an Imperial tool of DESTRUCTION! She was so good at it, too. Fried a whole platoon in a minute! I was so proud of her. Then she got sent to Narshe with two INCOMPETENT LOSERS WHO LOST HER! So, of course, one of those stupid group of rebels, the Returners, got her and sent her to who knows where! Actually, I did! To Figaro! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THEM! So, of course, I had to go to Figaro Castle to try and get her back. I had to walk through the stupid desert, too! Got sand in my shoes and everything! WHO PUTS THEIR CASTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT, ANYWAYS?! Grr... anyways, I go to King Edgar and ask him oh so nicely to give back MY PROPERTY! But he had to go and refuse! SO I SET HIS CASTLE ON FIRE! Then he escaped with Terra and his castle buried into the desert leaving me high and dry! They even evaded soldiers in Magitek Armor! Oh, but that wouldn't be the last I had to deal with those ingrates, oh no!"
"For you see, I knew they had to go somewhere and I figured that somewhere had to be the Returners' Hideout so I sent troops to tail them and lo and behold, we found it! We chased the little rats out and even stole Edgar's precious South Figaro away from him! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Such sweet lamentations when the town found out they were under Imperial Rule! After that, I was called to Doma Castle, some backwoods kingdom, as part of a battalion led by that goody-two-shoes General Leo! BAH! Hated his guts and his stupid morality! HE wanted to invade the castle with... minimal casualties!" Kefka shuddered at the thought. "BLECH! Where's the fun in that?! Of course, he didn't like my "Just dump the poison in the river, killing them all," strategy and he outranked me! Luckily, who should come to rescue me from this stifling boredom but the Emperor himself, who called Leo away on important business! Well, I just HAD to do what needed to be done! I tried getting a couple cronies to do it, but they were too weak-stomached and had qualms! I worked with such MORONS back in the day! Even worse, some meathead and a criminal invaded the camp to ruin my fun! Well, I had much more important things to do so I sent troops to kill them! Luckily, it was enough, as I got to the river and dumped all of that poison into the river, KILLING EVERYONE! Well, except for two survivors, those worthless jerks! One of them even tried to attack the camp by himself, the little idiot! But hey, the castle was ours and I got to hear the lovely music of a thousand people SCREAMING IN UNISON! Win-win!"
"Now, I knew from the Empire's magical research (BORING) that it was the Espers who provided the world's magic! Well, why should THEY have it?! I could put it to a much better, more destructive use! So I decided to gather some of my friends (or as I like to call them, my precious, precious cannon fodder!) and invade Narshe to try and get that Esper in their mines. But then the Returners blocked us off and grew in number! They even included Terra and a traitorous Imperial General named Celes! THE NERVE OF THEM! I tried everything from sending the troops to die to sending the troops to die and none of it worked! BAH! I had to retreat! I can't help it if the Returners wanted to be slow losers about losing their hideout!"
"But I didn't worry, for Gestahl had already acquired Espers from his raid on their world all those years ago. He even kept them in one place for little ol' me, the Magitek Research Facility! So I just absorbed their power until they were nearly husks and then threw them down the garbage chute like the trash they were! But they weren't enough! From more boring research, I found out about the Goddesses of Magic, the Warring Triad! They were the ones who gave birth to magic and I knew they were my ticket out of being the Emperor's dog! Ooooh, it was such a delicious plan! So of course, those pesky Returners had to come and ruin everything! Well, TRY and ruin everything. As they so courteously blabbed out loud so anyone could hear, the true power of an esper came from when their burned out husk became Magicite! I then asked ever so nicely to had hand their magicite over and I'd burn them to a crisp, but they refused! Celes tried to protect them, but I made sure I left my mark by planting seeds of doubt into their tiny, TINY brains about Celes's Loyalty. Celes managed to buy them time by teleporting me away, but I wouldn't be defeated so easily. I activated mechanical cranes and tried to disable their stupid airboat thingy. However, they managed to destroy the cranes and escape! I WAS GOING TO DESTROY THEM!
Bah! I was sick of the Returners winning all the time, so I'd figure we'd tail them to the Land of Espers to see about Magiciting the lot of them before those pesky rebels could use them against the Empire. Unfortunately, they all got free and think I blacked out or something. One of them probably punched me out, the lousy monster! When I came to, the Emperor had 'imprisoned me' for 'crimes against humanity'. Pah! I knew his game. He wanted power as much as I did and knew I was the guy to help him get it, the old fool! Luckily, his little ploy fooled the rebels into believing he was on their side! So, when they coaxed the Espers out of hiding, GUESS WHO SHOWED UP TO DESTROY THEM ALL?! That's right, it was memememememememememememeMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I killed them all and took their Magicite, adding to my already impressive collection. I even got some Magicite before I left for their peace treaty location, just to make sure I got as many Espers as I could! Then I ordered the troops to burn the little shantytown we were in! But of course, General Leo was there to try and stop me on some moral high ground or whatever! So I created a little illusion of the Emperor telling him that he was a pawn in our Esper-gathering hunt! Then I killed the little miscreant and pronounced him a traitor! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Then some more Espers, recently escaped from their world tried to destroy me, but I was too powerful for them. It was just RAINING MAGICITE THAT DAY! Then we went into their world and found the Warring Triad and found true power! We ripped that continent right out of the ground and floated beneath the petty ne'er do wells on the planet. Our dominance was assured, but nooooooo, those Returners had to try and stop us. Our air force was useless against them and I'd have fired them if they didn't all die! When those rebels confronted us, I tried to be nice General Celes and get her to kill them all, but she refused and STABBED ME! SHE MADE ME BLEED, THE HARLOT! OOOOH, I HATED THAT LITTLE ROACH! I had had it with being betrayed so I went into the center of the Warring Triad's formation and DEMANDED they give me their power! And give it to me they did! Oh, it was such a LOVELY rush! But the Emperor tried to stop me! Well, I had played the dog long enough and he couldn't do a thing to me since his magic was wasted on the Warring Triad's barrier! So I had the Triad strike him down! And once he was too weak to get up, I KICKED HIM OFF THE CONTINENT! I had finally found the ultimate destructive power that I was looking for and I wasn't going to settle for half-measures like 'conquering the world'! Who would want that, it's just going to end?! JUST LIKE I ENDED HIS LIFE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
NOW THE FUN PART! I decided to give the World of Balance a good ol' "I'm forcing you into retirement from existence" celebration and broke the Warring Triad's seal! Even though those pesky Returners escaped, they couldn't stop me from reducing everything to dust! The World of Balance had become a World of Ruin! A blasted Wasteland! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY CHAOTIC! All those lives lost! Everything that was built turned to ash! All that lovely despair! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHO! I then built a tower to my magnificence with my magic and what was left of the Imperial Capital of Vector and for a year, I created lovely monsters to slay the populace and if someone refused my right to rule with the power of destruction, I DESTROYED THEIR TOWN WITH THE LIGHT OF JUDGMENT! It was such a lovely year! Until..."
"They came..."
"Those no-good, do-gooder Returners had actually banded together and fought through my monsters and got to me! THE NERVE! What was the point in existing if it was going to end? Why fight the inevitable? I tried to drill these facts into their puny little skulls, but they had some friendship speeches and speeches about hope and BLEEEEHHHHHHHH! It was boring and made me want to gag! I decided to destroy them but they had somehow found the power to not only hurt me, BUT DEFEAT ME! EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL AND THEY ACTUALLY BEAT A GOD! HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE?! GRAAAHHHHHH! My only consolation is that they don't have any more of that magic on that world, SO HA! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"
"But oh no, that's not the end of the tale! That's just the beginning! For Chaos, the God of Discord himself, resurrected me as one of his soldiers to fight in an endless cycle of chaotic conflict and destruction! I even kept my God powers! I was so happy, I could KILL EVERYTHING! I even got to enslave Terra again as my tool of destruction! I couldn't have been happier until KUJA, that ignorant monkey, caused me to lose control of her. Well, I showed HIM who was boss by letting the Warriors of Cosmos know that 'he was fighting for us all along!' Of course, that may or may not have been a big fat lie, BUT WHO CARES?! And while I was doing that, I was also showing that moody Chocobo head, Cloud what ol' Mama's Boy was like! All that led to more lovely conflict! I then tried to give Kuja a good kick in the rear to prove himself to us (since those idiotic Light Warriors didn't want him) by fighting Lightning, but like a LOSER, he failed at that, too. But that was ok! Once he came back in the next cycle, I could train him to be an excellent tool! As for Terra, well... my little tried to think for herself and wanted to stop fighting! What a load! So I tried 'convincing' her to rethink her ways by ELECTROCUTING HER! Of course, that brat Vaan came and fought me in her stead, distracting me long enough to rescue her! Of course, I didn't mind. It was no big deal. The fact that he... STOLE MY MOST PRECIOUS TOOL OF DESTRUCTION... was most regrettable, of course. But she would come back. She had to."
"Of course, when I fought with that tin can Garland, I tried to ask politely to give me my minion back before I boiled his blood, but they BOTH refused me and attacked! I had to fall back and it was most regrettable. Then when that... THING... Cloud of Darkness closed the rift, I had to teach her HER PLACE! "In the next cycle, I tried to get her back! I really did! I tried asking (with fire), I tried convincing (with fire), I even tried unleashing her cataclysmic power so that she would destroy everything for me! (With fire) BUT NO! She refused and fought back, insisting she had something to protect. I don't know what it was, I think she said friends but it could've been bread for all I know. I lost that battle, but I'd swore I'd get her back. In the meantime, I had business with ol' Kujie-poo and his idiotic brother thing, that accursed monkey Zidane!"
I tried to get some bait for Zidane so that Kuja could destroy him, but Zidane had those pesky friends who always went with him... except for that perpetually depressed Squall fellow! So I had Kuja attack him while I led Zidane into a trap. Of course, instead of catching the monkey, I caught a rat named Bartz! I fought that monkey but of course I lost somehow! But even if I lost the battle I still won the war, since Bartz was SMACK... dab in the middle of enemy territory. Kuja then badgered for failing, but I didn't care. Not MY fault he didn't get Zidane when he was alone!"
"After that, Chaos FINALLY managed to kill Cosmos, the wretched thing and those pesky warriors were sobbing that they were fading away. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard! Finally, they would be destroyed and I could continue on my quest to annihilate everything without so much as an interruption! But those Warriors of Cosmos just had to keep fighting and they BEAT ME! AGAIN!"
"Grr... well... not THIS time. This new universe has so many... possibilities"
"WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Hmm... well, could you tell me what kind of person you are, kupo?
"HA! Why I'm the most jovial kind of person there is! I take great delight in destruction and mayhem and love to see people writh in despair! Most people would call me 'insane', but THEY'RE crazy for thinking anything should bother continuing to exist! I'm loud and in charge and if you make me mad, I'LL BURN EVERYTHING YOU LOVE TO A CINDER!"
"I enjoy tricking people to do what I want and just generally wrecking friendships! Those are so meaningless, too! Friends are just people who are exceptionally good at using others so you should just DESTROY THEM! DESTROY! DESTROY! And even if I must end as well, I gotta say, I'M THE BEST-LOOKING GUY THERE IS! AND I'm powerful to boot!"
...Oh, kupo... Then... what side do you fight for, kupo?[/color][/b]
"I serve only one side! CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION!"
I don't mean to seem like I'm prying, but what dreams and aspirations do you have, kupo?
"... HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN LISTENING TO A WORD I'VE SAID?! I want to destroy EVERYTHING! I WISH TO CREATE A MONUMENT TO NOTHINGNESS! I WANT TO ERASE THIS POINTLESS EXISTENCE!"
Ah, that makes sense, kupo... sorta... well, what do you like, kupo?
"You're being very repetitive, you know! I love destruction and anarchy! I love gathering more and more power for myself and I ain't gonna share! I love watching people despair over the loss of their loved ones! I also like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain and long walks on the beach!"
Me too! Then, what do you dislike, kupo?
"BAH! I doubt you like destruction more than ME! I dislike kindness, hope and friendship speeches! I hate do-gooders who think they can defeat me! I hate old rickety emperors who want to cramp my style! But I especially hate obnoxious, annoying moogles WHO ASK INCREASINGLY POINTLESS QUESTIONS!"
I'll remember that... what's your weakness, kupo?
"W-Weaknesses?! HOW DARE YOU?! I am the GOD OF MAGIC! What makes you think I have any weaknesses?! I mean, I may not be the most physically imposing person on the team, but who needs meatheads anyways? It's not I'm like so arrogant of my powers I'd overlook a group of do-gooders who could gain enough power to stop me! And it's not like I'm no good at making melee attacks! I've got one!"
Kefka realized that he was, in fact, saying his weaknesses and glowered at the moogle.
"SH-SHUT UP! I'LL DESTROY YOU!
N-not that I'd ever attempt to use that against you or anything, kupo...! Er... next question! W-what is your strength, kupo?
"My strength is my ridiculous stores of power! Not to mention, my ability to thwart and trick those too stupid to see past their pathetic morals and friendships! I'm also quite the resourceful little scamp and have an eye for technology to boot! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN DEFEATED?!"
I never would have guessed, kupo! So, tell me, kupo.. What's the secret password, kupo?
Admin Blocked
Ah, well I am afraid I must go, kupo. One last question before I do, kupo. How did you find your way here, kupo?
"I WAS INVITED BY A GOOD FRIEND! NOW LEAVE ME TO DESTROY EVERYTHING OR YOU'LL BE FIRST!"
__________________________________________________________
Cbox/User Name: Mordy/Kefka.
Current Characters Accepted: N/A.
WHOAAAAAAA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Kefka floated down to the Moogle and flailed his fingers at the poor thing. "My my my, I can't BEAR to see such an insignificant flea-bitten creature ask for a name as glorious as KEFKA PALAZZO, but I suppose I shall give it to you so you have the honor of quaking in fear of your impending destruction!"
Is that what everyone calls you, kupo?
Kefka cackled again. My dear pom-pom wearing friend, I go by MANY titles, but I am referred to as the God of Magic!
That's a great name for a girl, kupo! You... are a girl, aren't you, kupo?
"...GHSLDFGJIERTJG I'M A MAN! I'm more manly than some of my Chaotic Comrades!
O-of course! I was just... messing around, kupo! Ahem. Anyway, kupo. Uh. How old are you, kupo?
"Bah! You tell terrible jokes, anyways! Where's the screaming? The musical misery? The torturous wails of those who've lost loved ones?! Besides, you never inquire someone of their age! That's just rude! However, if you must know, I am about 40!"
Really? Everyone lately seems to be strange, kupo... so... no offense...but what species are you, kupo?
"Wha-WHAT?! Are you stupid or have you been hit with the Blind spell?! I'm a GOD! But I suppose you can refer to me as a human for the time being."
I knew that... It's just this light in here, kupo... my eyes can't focus... what do you look like, kupo?
"You really are blind! I'M STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! But if you MUST want a description of my perfection than I shall provide, Mr. Blindy McKupo!"
"JUST LOOK AT THAT HANDSOME DEVIL! The lovingly colorful outfit! That cheerful smile that is always on my face! That insane gleam in my eye? IT IS PERFECTION INCARNATE!"
"Nonononononono, I take that back! THIS is Perfection Incarnate! Look at my god form, lording it over EVERYONE with my beautiful DESTRUCTIVE POWER! Is it not glorious, my furred friend?!"
I-interesting...Which world is your home, kupo?
"I hail from the World of Ruin, my suspiciously curious teddy bear! It used to be called the World of Balance, where people that weren't oppressed by the Empire were happy, there was green grass and blue waters, the birds sang sweet songs and all sorts of other nasty, disgusting, irritating, ANNOYING things! Blech! Luckily, I made it better by undoing the seal that kept the Goddesses of Magic in check and DESTROYED EVERYTHING, turning the world into a blasted wasteland! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! And people must have liked it, there was even a cult dedicated to yours truly!"
I see... That's an interesting looking weapon, kupo. What do you call it, kupo?
Whajepha, WHAT WEAPON?! What is wrong with you? Have you had one too many Kupo nuts this morning? Were you dropped on your head as a cub?! BAH! I don't fight with any stupid weapons! I don't need them when I have the incredible power of MAGIC ON MY SIDE!"
Cool! Do you know any attacks, kupo?
"Of course I do! What kind of all-powerful godly machine of ultimate destruction do you take me for?!"
Extra-Crispy Firaga - Kefka casts three fireballs which zig zag through the air at his opponents. In EX Mode, each fireball splits into three more fireballs. (Cooldown: Two posts.)
Scatter Spray Blizzaga - A block of ice is fired, stops before reaching Kefka's opponents and then shatters over a wide area. (Cooldown: 2 posts)
Zap Trap Thundaga - Kefka summons lightning to strike around an opponent to keep him/her from dodging before casting lightning right on his opponent. (Cooldown: 2 posts)
Meteor: Kefka summons five fiery meteors from the sky that rain down around the mad mage and bounce towards his opponents when they land. In EX mode, the meteors fall and stop, hovering above the battleground, before homing in on Kefka's opponents. (Cooldown: 2 posts)
Havoc Wing: Kefka floats in close to his opponent, flips over and sprouts six wings from his back to stab his opponent. (Cooldown: 3 posts)
Trine: Kefka creates three triangles made of blue energy to converge on an opponent. Not only do these triangles deal damage, but they also inflict Silence or Blind, depending on the last move made by the opponent. (Physical move for Blind, Magic for Silence) (Cooldown: 4 posts from when the spell was cast. Negative Status effect duration: 2 posts)
Forsaken: Kefka creates a magical circle which tracks his opponents, dropping orbs of magical energy onto them. In EX Mode, the orbs also track Kefka's opponents. (Cooldown: 4 posts.)
Ex Mode: Power of Destruction - Kefka changes into his God of Magic form. Not only are his attacks more powerful, but some of his attacks change to reflect this change in form (So noted under their attacks). Thanks to his new wings, he can also Glide in this form. However, the main thing about this particular form is that he has access to his ultimate attack, Light of Judgment. (Duration: 4 posts) (Cooldown: 6 posts)
Light of Judgment - Only accessed through his EX Form, this is easily Kefka's strongest attack. The Mad Mage floats above his opponents and conjures a field of energy, then sends a massive beam of Light to smite his opponents. This beam is quite massive and deals an extreme amount of damage. However, when Kefka uses this attack, no matter how long he's been in EX Form, he immediately goes out of it. Thus, the cooldown for this attack is the same as EX Form. (Cooldown: 6 posts.)
That's not bad, kupo..! Can you tell me anything about your past, kupo?
"WAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, you wish to know my history! What gives, anyway? Is this a survey, moogle, or are you going to share this with my enemies? Bah! Not that'll do any good, since I'm going to DESTROY EVERYTHING! Well, it all started when my decrepit old fart of an Emperor, Gestahl, decided he wanted to make soldiers who could use magic. Of course, I jumped at the chance of that in a heartbeat and was whisked away to their lovely experimentation labs! Oh, they truly were lovely, with the pain and the agony and the TORTUOUS PAIN!"
"Then something came to me during those lovely experiments! Everything was worthless since it was all going to end! Life, happiness, music, taxes, the price of tea in Tzen, all was going to end and was all pointless, so why should any of it exist?! And what's more, I had the power to do it! Oh, it was such a lovely revelation that I positively reveled in it. They called me mad, but true madness is rebuilding what's only going to end in the first place! But I couldn't just go about destroying everything, not with that stupid Emperor shadowing me. So I had to play the nice doggy and help him conquer the world. It started out so lovely, too! I even got to play with a lovely little girl named Terra who I enslaved into being an Imperial tool of DESTRUCTION! She was so good at it, too. Fried a whole platoon in a minute! I was so proud of her. Then she got sent to Narshe with two INCOMPETENT LOSERS WHO LOST HER! So, of course, one of those stupid group of rebels, the Returners, got her and sent her to who knows where! Actually, I did! To Figaro! I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE THEM! So, of course, I had to go to Figaro Castle to try and get her back. I had to walk through the stupid desert, too! Got sand in my shoes and everything! WHO PUTS THEIR CASTLE IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT, ANYWAYS?! Grr... anyways, I go to King Edgar and ask him oh so nicely to give back MY PROPERTY! But he had to go and refuse! SO I SET HIS CASTLE ON FIRE! Then he escaped with Terra and his castle buried into the desert leaving me high and dry! They even evaded soldiers in Magitek Armor! Oh, but that wouldn't be the last I had to deal with those ingrates, oh no!"
"For you see, I knew they had to go somewhere and I figured that somewhere had to be the Returners' Hideout so I sent troops to tail them and lo and behold, we found it! We chased the little rats out and even stole Edgar's precious South Figaro away from him! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! Such sweet lamentations when the town found out they were under Imperial Rule! After that, I was called to Doma Castle, some backwoods kingdom, as part of a battalion led by that goody-two-shoes General Leo! BAH! Hated his guts and his stupid morality! HE wanted to invade the castle with... minimal casualties!" Kefka shuddered at the thought. "BLECH! Where's the fun in that?! Of course, he didn't like my "Just dump the poison in the river, killing them all," strategy and he outranked me! Luckily, who should come to rescue me from this stifling boredom but the Emperor himself, who called Leo away on important business! Well, I just HAD to do what needed to be done! I tried getting a couple cronies to do it, but they were too weak-stomached and had qualms! I worked with such MORONS back in the day! Even worse, some meathead and a criminal invaded the camp to ruin my fun! Well, I had much more important things to do so I sent troops to kill them! Luckily, it was enough, as I got to the river and dumped all of that poison into the river, KILLING EVERYONE! Well, except for two survivors, those worthless jerks! One of them even tried to attack the camp by himself, the little idiot! But hey, the castle was ours and I got to hear the lovely music of a thousand people SCREAMING IN UNISON! Win-win!"
"Now, I knew from the Empire's magical research (BORING) that it was the Espers who provided the world's magic! Well, why should THEY have it?! I could put it to a much better, more destructive use! So I decided to gather some of my friends (or as I like to call them, my precious, precious cannon fodder!) and invade Narshe to try and get that Esper in their mines. But then the Returners blocked us off and grew in number! They even included Terra and a traitorous Imperial General named Celes! THE NERVE OF THEM! I tried everything from sending the troops to die to sending the troops to die and none of it worked! BAH! I had to retreat! I can't help it if the Returners wanted to be slow losers about losing their hideout!"
"But I didn't worry, for Gestahl had already acquired Espers from his raid on their world all those years ago. He even kept them in one place for little ol' me, the Magitek Research Facility! So I just absorbed their power until they were nearly husks and then threw them down the garbage chute like the trash they were! But they weren't enough! From more boring research, I found out about the Goddesses of Magic, the Warring Triad! They were the ones who gave birth to magic and I knew they were my ticket out of being the Emperor's dog! Ooooh, it was such a delicious plan! So of course, those pesky Returners had to come and ruin everything! Well, TRY and ruin everything. As they so courteously blabbed out loud so anyone could hear, the true power of an esper came from when their burned out husk became Magicite! I then asked ever so nicely to had hand their magicite over and I'd burn them to a crisp, but they refused! Celes tried to protect them, but I made sure I left my mark by planting seeds of doubt into their tiny, TINY brains about Celes's Loyalty. Celes managed to buy them time by teleporting me away, but I wouldn't be defeated so easily. I activated mechanical cranes and tried to disable their stupid airboat thingy. However, they managed to destroy the cranes and escape! I WAS GOING TO DESTROY THEM!
Bah! I was sick of the Returners winning all the time, so I'd figure we'd tail them to the Land of Espers to see about Magiciting the lot of them before those pesky rebels could use them against the Empire. Unfortunately, they all got free and think I blacked out or something. One of them probably punched me out, the lousy monster! When I came to, the Emperor had 'imprisoned me' for 'crimes against humanity'. Pah! I knew his game. He wanted power as much as I did and knew I was the guy to help him get it, the old fool! Luckily, his little ploy fooled the rebels into believing he was on their side! So, when they coaxed the Espers out of hiding, GUESS WHO SHOWED UP TO DESTROY THEM ALL?! That's right, it was memememememememememememeMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I killed them all and took their Magicite, adding to my already impressive collection. I even got some Magicite before I left for their peace treaty location, just to make sure I got as many Espers as I could! Then I ordered the troops to burn the little shantytown we were in! But of course, General Leo was there to try and stop me on some moral high ground or whatever! So I created a little illusion of the Emperor telling him that he was a pawn in our Esper-gathering hunt! Then I killed the little miscreant and pronounced him a traitor! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Then some more Espers, recently escaped from their world tried to destroy me, but I was too powerful for them. It was just RAINING MAGICITE THAT DAY! Then we went into their world and found the Warring Triad and found true power! We ripped that continent right out of the ground and floated beneath the petty ne'er do wells on the planet. Our dominance was assured, but nooooooo, those Returners had to try and stop us. Our air force was useless against them and I'd have fired them if they didn't all die! When those rebels confronted us, I tried to be nice General Celes and get her to kill them all, but she refused and STABBED ME! SHE MADE ME BLEED, THE HARLOT! OOOOH, I HATED THAT LITTLE ROACH! I had had it with being betrayed so I went into the center of the Warring Triad's formation and DEMANDED they give me their power! And give it to me they did! Oh, it was such a LOVELY rush! But the Emperor tried to stop me! Well, I had played the dog long enough and he couldn't do a thing to me since his magic was wasted on the Warring Triad's barrier! So I had the Triad strike him down! And once he was too weak to get up, I KICKED HIM OFF THE CONTINENT! I had finally found the ultimate destructive power that I was looking for and I wasn't going to settle for half-measures like 'conquering the world'! Who would want that, it's just going to end?! JUST LIKE I ENDED HIS LIFE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
NOW THE FUN PART! I decided to give the World of Balance a good ol' "I'm forcing you into retirement from existence" celebration and broke the Warring Triad's seal! Even though those pesky Returners escaped, they couldn't stop me from reducing everything to dust! The World of Balance had become a World of Ruin! A blasted Wasteland! IT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY CHAOTIC! All those lives lost! Everything that was built turned to ash! All that lovely despair! WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHO! I then built a tower to my magnificence with my magic and what was left of the Imperial Capital of Vector and for a year, I created lovely monsters to slay the populace and if someone refused my right to rule with the power of destruction, I DESTROYED THEIR TOWN WITH THE LIGHT OF JUDGMENT! It was such a lovely year! Until..."
"They came..."
"Those no-good, do-gooder Returners had actually banded together and fought through my monsters and got to me! THE NERVE! What was the point in existing if it was going to end? Why fight the inevitable? I tried to drill these facts into their puny little skulls, but they had some friendship speeches and speeches about hope and BLEEEEHHHHHHHH! It was boring and made me want to gag! I decided to destroy them but they had somehow found the power to not only hurt me, BUT DEFEAT ME! EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL AND THEY ACTUALLY BEAT A GOD! HOW WAS THAT POSSIBLE?! GRAAAHHHHHH! My only consolation is that they don't have any more of that magic on that world, SO HA! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!"
"But oh no, that's not the end of the tale! That's just the beginning! For Chaos, the God of Discord himself, resurrected me as one of his soldiers to fight in an endless cycle of chaotic conflict and destruction! I even kept my God powers! I was so happy, I could KILL EVERYTHING! I even got to enslave Terra again as my tool of destruction! I couldn't have been happier until KUJA, that ignorant monkey, caused me to lose control of her. Well, I showed HIM who was boss by letting the Warriors of Cosmos know that 'he was fighting for us all along!' Of course, that may or may not have been a big fat lie, BUT WHO CARES?! And while I was doing that, I was also showing that moody Chocobo head, Cloud what ol' Mama's Boy was like! All that led to more lovely conflict! I then tried to give Kuja a good kick in the rear to prove himself to us (since those idiotic Light Warriors didn't want him) by fighting Lightning, but like a LOSER, he failed at that, too. But that was ok! Once he came back in the next cycle, I could train him to be an excellent tool! As for Terra, well... my little tried to think for herself and wanted to stop fighting! What a load! So I tried 'convincing' her to rethink her ways by ELECTROCUTING HER! Of course, that brat Vaan came and fought me in her stead, distracting me long enough to rescue her! Of course, I didn't mind. It was no big deal. The fact that he... STOLE MY MOST PRECIOUS TOOL OF DESTRUCTION... was most regrettable, of course. But she would come back. She had to."
"Of course, when I fought with that tin can Garland, I tried to ask politely to give me my minion back before I boiled his blood, but they BOTH refused me and attacked! I had to fall back and it was most regrettable. Then when that... THING... Cloud of Darkness closed the rift, I had to teach her HER PLACE! "In the next cycle, I tried to get her back! I really did! I tried asking (with fire), I tried convincing (with fire), I even tried unleashing her cataclysmic power so that she would destroy everything for me! (With fire) BUT NO! She refused and fought back, insisting she had something to protect. I don't know what it was, I think she said friends but it could've been bread for all I know. I lost that battle, but I'd swore I'd get her back. In the meantime, I had business with ol' Kujie-poo and his idiotic brother thing, that accursed monkey Zidane!"
I tried to get some bait for Zidane so that Kuja could destroy him, but Zidane had those pesky friends who always went with him... except for that perpetually depressed Squall fellow! So I had Kuja attack him while I led Zidane into a trap. Of course, instead of catching the monkey, I caught a rat named Bartz! I fought that monkey but of course I lost somehow! But even if I lost the battle I still won the war, since Bartz was SMACK... dab in the middle of enemy territory. Kuja then badgered for failing, but I didn't care. Not MY fault he didn't get Zidane when he was alone!"
"After that, Chaos FINALLY managed to kill Cosmos, the wretched thing and those pesky warriors were sobbing that they were fading away. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard! Finally, they would be destroyed and I could continue on my quest to annihilate everything without so much as an interruption! But those Warriors of Cosmos just had to keep fighting and they BEAT ME! AGAIN!"
"Grr... well... not THIS time. This new universe has so many... possibilities"
"WHOA~OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Hmm... well, could you tell me what kind of person you are, kupo?
"HA! Why I'm the most jovial kind of person there is! I take great delight in destruction and mayhem and love to see people writh in despair! Most people would call me 'insane', but THEY'RE crazy for thinking anything should bother continuing to exist! I'm loud and in charge and if you make me mad, I'LL BURN EVERYTHING YOU LOVE TO A CINDER!"
"I enjoy tricking people to do what I want and just generally wrecking friendships! Those are so meaningless, too! Friends are just people who are exceptionally good at using others so you should just DESTROY THEM! DESTROY! DESTROY! And even if I must end as well, I gotta say, I'M THE BEST-LOOKING GUY THERE IS! AND I'm powerful to boot!"
...Oh, kupo... Then... what side do you fight for, kupo?[/color][/b]
"I serve only one side! CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION!"
I don't mean to seem like I'm prying, but what dreams and aspirations do you have, kupo?
"... HAVE YOU EVEN BEEN LISTENING TO A WORD I'VE SAID?! I want to destroy EVERYTHING! I WISH TO CREATE A MONUMENT TO NOTHINGNESS! I WANT TO ERASE THIS POINTLESS EXISTENCE!"
Ah, that makes sense, kupo... sorta... well, what do you like, kupo?
"You're being very repetitive, you know! I love destruction and anarchy! I love gathering more and more power for myself and I ain't gonna share! I love watching people despair over the loss of their loved ones! I also like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain and long walks on the beach!"
Me too! Then, what do you dislike, kupo?
"BAH! I doubt you like destruction more than ME! I dislike kindness, hope and friendship speeches! I hate do-gooders who think they can defeat me! I hate old rickety emperors who want to cramp my style! But I especially hate obnoxious, annoying moogles WHO ASK INCREASINGLY POINTLESS QUESTIONS!"
I'll remember that... what's your weakness, kupo?
"W-Weaknesses?! HOW DARE YOU?! I am the GOD OF MAGIC! What makes you think I have any weaknesses?! I mean, I may not be the most physically imposing person on the team, but who needs meatheads anyways? It's not I'm like so arrogant of my powers I'd overlook a group of do-gooders who could gain enough power to stop me! And it's not like I'm no good at making melee attacks! I've got one!"
Kefka realized that he was, in fact, saying his weaknesses and glowered at the moogle.
"SH-SHUT UP! I'LL DESTROY YOU!
N-not that I'd ever attempt to use that against you or anything, kupo...! Er... next question! W-what is your strength, kupo?
"My strength is my ridiculous stores of power! Not to mention, my ability to thwart and trick those too stupid to see past their pathetic morals and friendships! I'm also quite the resourceful little scamp and have an eye for technology to boot! HOW COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN DEFEATED?!"
I never would have guessed, kupo! So, tell me, kupo.. What's the secret password, kupo?
Admin Blocked
Ah, well I am afraid I must go, kupo. One last question before I do, kupo. How did you find your way here, kupo?
"I WAS INVITED BY A GOOD FRIEND! NOW LEAVE ME TO DESTROY EVERYTHING OR YOU'LL BE FIRST!"
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Cbox/User Name: Mordy/Kefka.
Current Characters Accepted: N/A.